


throw dust in eyes

by star_lord



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Winter Cup, Slow Build, Slow To Update, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_lord/pseuds/star_lord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of desperation, Kagami makes up a boyfriend. Kuroko is being perfectly Kuroko and Aomine, surprisingly, is the victim here.</p><p>Suffice to say, it's not a brilliant plan.</p><p>Or:<br/>It's Kagami and Aomine against the world(?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	throw dust in eyes

There were so many reasons that could trigger Coach's anger, for instance coming late to the practice and the tournament, showing any sign of sexual perversion (keeping an M-rated magazine no one had idea whom it belonged to, and attempting to sneak a peek in the onsen, which Kagami didn't take part because Kuroko had fainted) and even getting poor grades.

This time, however, they definitely didn't see it coming—both figuratively and literally. Kagami was taking a break when he barely caught a glimpse of Coach barrelling into the gym before she threw a box at his forehead with unerring accuracy.

 _Well_. She was their coach, after all.

Kagami rubbed his bruised forehead, glaring at Coach. "What the hell, Coach?"

"You!" she exploded, shoving her index finger in his face. "You're the problem here, Bakagami! I'm so getting tired of seeing random girls break into our clubroom. Just a minute ago I caught my classmate putting her confession letter in your locker, and do you know how awkward it was?!"

On cue, Kagami swept a glance over the box and found an avalanche of confession letters spilling out of it. He blanched guiltily.

"Ah, again? I thought we've changed our locks," said Captain, walking over and checking the box as well. Curious, Furihata, Kawahara and Fukuda skimmed through the letters.

Izuki-senpai picked up one of the letters. "Never underestimate girls in love. Love can drive you to do anything—ah, love," he paused, sensing a pun coming in but Kiyoshi-senpai was faster to slap a hand over his mouth.

"I guess winning the Winter Cup has shoot Kagami to stardom, eh?" Kiyoshi-senpai whistled, ignoring the effort Izuki-senpai was putting on to regain his freedom. "He's so lucky to receive so many confessions. Not everyone is blessed with such opportunities. And they keep coming too."

"But it's not fair only Kagami receives confessions. I played too, and I haven't gotten any! Consider my feeling as well," Koganei-senpai whined.

 _How about my feeling_ , thought Kagami gloomily.

He was none too pleased at his current predicament. More often than not, Coach put the blame on him every time they had to change their lock (it sounded like _"Tell your fangirls to stop destroying our properties!"_ ) or Coach doubled his training every time he had to run late because another girl confessed to him or other things for that matter.

"Why can't you just accept their confession?" Furihata casually suggested as he swept the letters into the box.

Everyone blinked owlishly.

The moment Furi's words sunk into his brain, Kagami opened his mouth to protest but Coach cut him off.

"Great suggestion, Furihata-kun!" she cheered and slung an arm around Kagami's shoulders. "Just accept one of them to be your girlfriend, then we'll spread the wonderful news so they can stop disturbing you—" _and us._

"Wait—no, I can't—I can't do that," he stuttered, face turning milk white pallor in the matter of seconds.

Coach smiled—she was frigging _smiling_ —and asked sweetly; "Why not, Kagami-kun?"

 _Why not_ , she asked, like his love life didn't matter at all and wouldn't spiral his life to another direction. Kagami had no interest in love at the moment. He personally thought it'd be another problem considering he had to juggle between basketball and studies, and Kagami had no clue how to squeeze romance in between those two.

"Why not, Kagami?"

Right. Of _course_ Kiyoshi-senpai had to repeat the question. Where the hell was Kuroko when he needed him the most?

"Yeah. Why not, Kagami?"

And of _course_ Captain had to ask the same question. They started to close in on him from all sides, sharing the same questioning look. Kagami had never felt so suffocated in his life before. Not even crazy interviews after being crowned as the victors of the Winter Cup could rival this.

And of _course_ in the moment of panic his mouth had to adopt a mind of its own and blurted out; "I'm seeing someone!"

There was a beat of silence. When his brain caught up with his mouth, one thought crossed Kagami's mind. _Oh shit…_

"Wait—you're seeing someone?!" Captain shouted—or it could be Izuki-senpai, Kagami wasn't sure because everyone erupted into a chaos of panic attacks.

"You didn't say a word about this!"

"Since when?!"

"Whoa~ Kagami's so lucky." That one definitely came from Kiyoshi-senpai.

Kagami decided he'd had enough even if he realized that he couldn't backpedal his words.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. You see, trainings and all, so I didn't have time to do so." At least he had the grace to look guilty for lying to them, which they mistakenly took it for keeping it from them.

"That's why you keep refusing their confessions. You should've told us and your fangirls earlier to save us from all the misery," Coach reasoned, sighing. "Is she someone we know?"

"Well, he—"

" _He_?!" they chorused.

 _Oh, fuck me_ , Kagami mentally cursed. He didn't usually talk about girls. Instead, his conversation mostly circulated around food, basketball and basketball players—not necessarily in that order—so forgive him if his vocabulary orbited around the masculine class.

Sensing Kagami's discomfort, Kiyoshi-senpai interrupted disapprovingly (or fondly despairing, Kagami wasn't quite sure which. Kiyoshi-senpai seemed to hold a fatherly figure in his eyes despite his age). "Guys, stop it. You guys are making him nervous. Kagami, if this is the reason why you couldn't tell us, I'll have you know that we won't judge your preference."

"I—" Kagami paused, mulling over this before he chose to roll with it. "Yeah, that's why I couldn't tell you guys. Sorry."

"Don't worry, Kagami. We'll support your love!" Koganei-senpai crowed, probably having less rivals to compete with.

"Back to the interrogation, is he from our school?" Captain asked, unperturbed by the change.

"Uh, no."

"Whoa, long distance relationship. It must be really tough for you two," said Izuki-senpai in awe. "You gain my respect and blessing, Kagami."

"Not really," Kagami shook his head. He already felt bad enough to lie to his teammates, he really didn't need this kind of admiration from the charade love he was engineering. "We—uh—see each other quite often. He—well—he likes to play basketball too, so we play each other almost every weekend."

"You're very lucky to find someone who shares the same passion," Fukuda patted his back, almost like a slap.

"Is he good?" Kawahara continued their interrogation.

"Very good. Beating him in one-on-one is a quite challenge."

"Meh, just like Bakagami," Coach huffed, crossing her hands over her chest. "I sensed this coming miles away already."

"How long have been you seeing him?" Captain queried.

"Since the Winter Cup?" Kagami winced at that, cursing his puny brain for picking up the most recent event.

"I wonder if he's tall," Furi muttered to himself, eyes looking up as if he tried to compare their heights.

"He's tall alright," he answered wearily, feeling tired from coming up lies after lies. That counted how many beats his heart skipped each time he lied to them, and how much effort he had to put on to school his features natural as well.

 _Well_ , at least everything seemed to run smoothly—

"That sounds pretty much like Aomine-kun," a new voice spoke from his left side, snapping Kagami out of his temporary relief, and Kagami turned around so fast he almost got a whiplash.

 _The mother of love_ —and Kuroko managed to remain nonplussed with Nigou barking happily in his arms while everyone else, after a second, fled in panic.

"You're dating that monster?!"

"Wait—"

"What did you see in him?!"

"No—"

"Who confessed first?!"

"Hold on—"

"So you're telling me you guys were flirting with each other back then?! What the hell man… that was the longest and most intense foreplay I've ever seen."

"We—"

"Ah~ youth."

"Stop—"

Kuroko tut-tutted under his breath, the kind of sound that carried the barest hint of disapproval as though he'd done the biggest mistake in his life. "You and Aomine-kun are my best friends, but none of you saw fit to tell me? I'm very disappointed," and he walked away like he hadn't just spiralled Kagami's life further downward.

_Fuck you, Kuroko!_

 

* * *

 

 

Kagami's breath clouded around his face and trailed off into the evening skies. Sitting on the bench at his usual court and rubbing his hands together to keep the cold away, Kagami waited patiently.

He'd figured he couldn't get out of his predicament without help. Kuroko was out of the options since he hadn't done with his silent fume ( _"You betrayed me, Kagami-kun,"_ his glare had said). That included his teammates as well since they were fed lies by him ( _"Although we don't get it why you chose him of all people, you have our blessing."_ ). Not Alex, because she was visiting Tatsuya at Akita ( _"Just to be fair, Tiger."_ ) for two weeks.

That left one person, even if Kagami had been so reluctant to send him the help-me text.

Sighing, Kagami was running through various solutions in his mind when Aomine suddenly dropped into the seat next to him.

"You owe me Teriyaki burger, you hear me?" said Aomine, not bothering with casual greeting.

"I haven't told you what kind of favour I need, and you're already asking me to pay you? You're infuriating," Kagami groused in disbelief.

"Excuse _you_. That's for texting me to come here. I'll ask something else for the so-called favour," Aomine explained, pulling down his scarf a little.

"Unbelievable."

"Don't worry. I surprised myself by coming here despite the shitty weather."

Kagami dragged his gaze away from Aomine to the street, deep in thought weighing pros and cons in that immediate seconds. He was already regretting this. "You know what? I'm going home," he decided, getting up to take his leave.

“Wait—what?!" Aomine grabbed him by the wrist to halt his movement. "What the fuck, man? I came here just because you fucking texted me to, and now you chicken out? Seriously?!" he questioned, piercing Kagami with an irritated glare.

"No—I just don't see way out," replied Kagami, wincing a little at the strength in Aomine's grip. "Believe me, you don't wanna get your ass in this mess."

"Do you see any fucks given? Unsurprisingly, none given!" Aomine snarled, the death grip on Kagami's wrist growing stronger by passing seconds. "I've walked through this shitty snowy weather and I'm fucking starved, and now I wanna know why the fuck did you ask me to come here. Also, you owe me Teriyaki Burger."

Losing his patience, Kagami yanked his hand away from Aomine's death grip. "That fucking hurts, Ahomine! Are you trying to crush my bone?"

"Stop acting like a pussy. Spill it out!" Aomine sprung to his feet, anger blazing in his eyes.

"Which part of 'you don’t wanna get your ass in this mess' you don't understand?!"

"Just tell me and let me be the goddamned judge!"

"You ungrateful asshole! You can't just boss me around like that!"

"Because you're now acting like a bitch—"

"Kagami-kun and Aomine-kun?" Coach's voice floated from the street, ceasing their argument.

She had a school bag tucked under her armpit, looking completely confused and normal like she was going home and missed their conversation. The luck on Kagami's side that day—except the fact that she was walking with the former captain of Touou, Imayoshi Shouichi.

Kagami felt his heart threaten to explode at that very moment.

"What are you doing here?" Aomine recovered fast, tossing a quizzical look at his former captain.

Imayoshi-san traipsed over to them with Coach in his wake. "Just happened ta' bump inta' her at the library in the town," he said, his accent so stark. "'t was gettin' late, so I thought I should offer ta' walk her home. Common courtesy, you should try ta' do it ta' Momoi," he stressed the words like he was trying to install them into Aomine's brain.

"She's got a group discussion after the practice, and this guy over here texted me to come over," Aomine shrugged his shoulder to Kagami.

"This guy can hear just fine," Kagami gritted out. His brain was scheming every possible escape he could take without causing too much hassle.

"I see. So important tha' ya just stormed off without a word? Wakamatsu wasn't so thrilled, ya know."

"He told you that? Oh come on," Aomine made a face.

"Kagami-kun," Coach cut in. "You can't ask your boyfriend to skip his training just because you want to see him. I trained you better than this," she chided.

As soon as the statement slipped out of her mouth, Kagami saw his life destroy right before his eyes. The silence descended over them for a moment before Imayoshi-san broke it with a single word. "Boyfriend?"

 _Crap._ Hearing Imayoshi-san say the word made the twist in Kagami's stomach worst somehow. He wished he could run and hole up, protecting himself from the incoming attack.

Coach looked at Imayoshi, baffled. "Aomine didn't tell you guys as well? Wow, you two really wanted to keep your relationship secret, didn’t you?"

Aomine stilled, not uttering a word.

"Lemme get this straight," Imayoshi-san gave them both a calculating look. "So… Aomine and Kagami are dating each other?"

As bright as sunshine, Coach chirped; "Yes! Although I wish Kagami-kun told us sooner so his fangirls could stop from harassing us."

Blood drained from Kagami's face in terror for each word came out of Coach's mouth. "Coach—"

"But everything will be fine because I've spread the words around!" she announced, not knowing that she blacklisted every possible options Kagami had to make his escape.

Scratch finding an escape route and a place to hole up. Might as well dig a grave right away.

"Surprise, surprise," Imayoshi-san chuckled, too amused by this.

It had been two minutes Aomine didn't speak so Kagami thought Aomine had fainted right then, right there. Kagami stole a glance just to make sure.

He'd been very, very wrong alright.

Aomine met his glance, a dangerous sort of half-smile curling at his lips and glinting in his eyes, which either that meant he'd entered the Zone and was going to give him a quick death or he actually hadn't entered it and yet he was going to kill him anyway with a painful but efficient method.

"I'm so glad you've finally come clean about us, _babe_. Should we celebrate this news somewhere else?"

Yes, it was going to be an extremely painful death.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.


End file.
